New Ultramarathon!

Urban Trail Ultra

Now YOU can do a trail ultra without leaving the confines of the city.

Distance: as many miles as you can make in 24 hours.
Course: Football stadium. Do as many loops as you can. One course loop consists of

1) one track lap and
2) one complete set of stadium steps (up the even asiles, down the odds)

The following modifications have been made:

1) the track has been covered by

a) a layer of rocks of various size, ranging from pea-gravel to softball sized rocks
b) sand mixed with broken glass
c) small logs and planks of wood, which are just enough to reach the top of the sand layer
d) all of the above have been covered by thick beds of leaves
e) there will be 4-5 fallen trees along the track.
f) smaller twigs have been layed down; the kind that when one steps on one end, the other end comes up and either pokes the runner in the foot or trips him/her.

Every lap, there will be a 100 meter stretch where the runner will run between briar and rose bushes, where the rows have been planetd so that there are two foot rows between to permit runners to go inbetween.

2) the steps have been modified by:
a) layers of sand, rocks and large twigs overing the steps on the way up
b) on the down paths, there will be long metal slides which have been covered by grease, mud, and briars/broken glass mixed in.

3) At random points, there will be waterfalls pouring water over the course (and the runners on the course) at random intverals.

4) Giant wind-tunnel caliber fans will be blowing against the runners at various points.

5) Snakes and spiders will be interspersed throughout the course.

We will have two divisions:

1) He Man Division (no shoes permitted)
2) Candyass divison (can wear shoes)


People signing up for this race will be given a referal to the nearest mental facility.